Q: You’re watching a TV show or movie when there’s an unexpected death scene, and now you’re freaking out. What should you do?
There you are settled in with your friend(s), watching a relaxing movie or TV show, and suddenly there’s a death scene that reminds you of your person who died. Now you are upset or worse, and feel the need to bolt. What can you do?
First, set aside self-blame if you have it ("I don't want to ruin tonight!"). You may not have known the scene was coming (it wasn’t in the trailer!); or you did, but didn’t know it would freak you out. In any case, your feelings are your feelings, and you can’t control them.
If you can, hit pause on the remote and talk to your friend(s) about what you’re experiencing. If that seems impossible, take deep breaths to calm yourself; and if that doesn't help, take a bathroom break. And, well, if you just need to bolt, go…and text your friends asap letting them know you left and why.
After you calm down, talk through the event with your friends. Explain what you felt. Letting out your emotions with safe people is always the best way to handle pretty much everything in life.
Héctor L. E. Olivencia Huertas is a Doctor of Clinical Psychology in Puerto Rico, who started with Experience Camps in 2022 as a staff member and is now a Grief Specialist at Experience Camps in Georgia.